August 5, 2013
Do You Tip McDonalds
McDonalds employees are forbidden to accept tips, because their corporate masters know what is best for them. Now take your financial planning literature provided too you by them, and accept it. Take it as gospel, because when the true unemployment numbers are to be revealed at 20% your going not even going to be microwaving hamburgers at mcdonalds..much less looking for that precious second job. There will be no jobs. They are going to pop the service bubble like the popped the dot com bubble. The light promised too you at the end of the tunnel won't be there, and you will willingly place the chains upon yourself to get certified in clown college for a degree to work in the madhouse of USA serfdom. Accept it, we are going back to the era of serfs and debt slaves where its all or nothing. You either get the degree to work in the prison, your a prisoner of debt, or you are serving the food in the cafeteria like a good boy.
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As a member of the Poseidon Family, it will be natural for you to become enthusiastic about the incredible endeavors you'll be undertaking with us, and to want to tell others. But just a second there, my good man! Let's take a minute to consider what could happen if company information fell into the wrong hands, and whose hands those might be.
ReplyDelete"Can I tell my wife?" Well, let's say you do. You tell her not to tell anyone. Your bond is sacred. But a woman's idle tongue is the devil's plaything. No sooner do you leave for work the next day than she's on the phone telling her best friend Candy. Then Candy tells Gertie, Gertie tells Maxine, Maxine tells Lulu, and while Lulu is telling Doris, a Chinese agent posing as an American operator listens in, and the next thing she's on the line with the Forbidden City, singing like a treasonous canary. The following day you and your wife are bound in shackles and China is sitting at the controls of our entire arsenal.
"Can I tell my children?" What father wouldn't want to his kids to look up to him? Don't be that father. One day at school, Ivan Bullykov will get more than lunch money out of your kids. He'll have national secrets! And while they're parading him through Red Square as a national hero, your children will be working in forced labor camps, right next to you and your beautiful young wife, who's now wrinkled and homely since the communists have banned makeup because it expresses individuality.
"Can I tell my drinking buddies?" Surely if there's somewhere safe a man can place his trust, it's with his other male friends. But how much do you really know about them? Are they friends... or *comrades*? Don't be too sure. Even the most transparent window can hide secrets when it's lined with Iron Curtains.
Always remember: you are a member of two families now. And you have obligations to both. But you obligations to the Poseidon Family is greater, because while your children may misbehave and your friends may change and your wife may nag and cheat on you, Poseidon Energy will always be paying for and protecting your way of life. Don't tell anybody about anything about the projects of Poseidon Energy. When pressed, tell them that your job is repetitive and not worth discussing, but the Company is nurturing and gives good benefits and is always looking for new talent.