No.7935985

I Can't talk to people that well. Specifcially women. They never really show interest in me since there are dozens of other people vying for their attention. I'm not good looking or interesting enough to stand out. So I don't ever recieve the blessing of conversation from them.

I want to avoid the whole rigmarole of impressing women to "Earn"/prove myself "worthy" of their friendship. Partly because I've tried before and failed.

I tried being myself but could not sustain any prolonged interest, from anyone. Is it because my hobbies dont appeal to females?

> so focus on yourself and your hobbies and interests and friends and job and whatever, not on the women

Doing this leads to becoming invisible. Awkward people must come up with contrived and elaborate schemes in order to gain closeness to women. Something that most people do effortlessly and naturally.

>>7936044
You need to stop trying to hang around vain hotties. I talk to women frequently and I haven't had to do shit to impress them. All I "did" was have conversations with people in places like writers' groups, and at the work place, which occur naturally if you're not totally socially retarded. Sometimes I approached women but most of the time they approached me since I'm not outgoing in the least. I'm not good looking in the slightest, but I'm friendly and I learned how to talk to people in a way that doesn't sound forced, so people know that I'm okay to approach if they just want to shoot the shit. Also, the "just b urself" meme only applies when you are an interesting, well adjusted person, and if you're not, you can still eventually grow into one.

The first step on that course would be to never talk to people on a lonely men's board like /lit/; it's just /r9k/ for pseuds. You'd do better to get a hobby, join a hobbyist club, and go on from there. Also, stop basing your interactions with others on their gender, it will only obfuscate what your actually doing wrong in the interaction. Get some self awareness, and become a better judge of character instead of defaulting to stereotype when you interact with people. Also, move, since the country you live in sounds like a terrible place.

>>7937073

This, plus read up on the effects of estrogen and testosterone on cognition. However, the existence of beta men who spoil and fail to stand up to women when necessary is the key to understanding when women don't think like men.

I don't think women are subhuman or inherently trash. My girlfriend is beautiful, kind, and goes to an elite medical school, and I know other women like her who I love to be around. With a loving, supportive family, some but not too much pressure to succeed careerwise, and friends who've had the same, a woman can think an awful lot like a man, whether she is beautiful, hideous, smart or dumb.

Beta men, however, will do anything within their grasp to please women, and these are the majority of men. Betas will spoil women rotten (men can be spoiled rotten too, but the conditions for it aren't as familiar), stab more attractive, confident men in the back, and generally cause chaos in the hopes of touching a vagina.

I don't think that women were often spoiled in primitive societies, and that this is something that started with more prosperous agrarian societies where wealthy men started going out of their way to buy sexual access.

Quoted by: >>7937516 >>7937518 >>7937601

Look OP don't listen to most people on this thread, specially woman haters.
You need to develop yourself as a man, OP. You are probably no good with people in general, not only with women. You can't really get 'great' at socializing by reading books, they surely can help if you are a top tier autist who doesn't understand basic human interactions, but you still need to go and talk to people.

>Develop a healthy lifestyle, go to the gym, dress yourself nicely,eat healthy food, learn to feel good about yourself.

>Read, you probably already do this (since you are on /lit/), read all kinds of book, stop being pretentious and condescending to people.

>Drop the drugs, alcohol and tobacco, this things can make you feel good for a while and even make things 'easier' but you will depend on them forever and feel like shit if you don't have them. Learn to socialize without being drunk or high.

>Stop being stimulated all the time (watching TV, browsing the internet, listening to music, etc) Try being in a room without doing anything for 15 minutes.

>Stop procastinating

>Get negative and toxic people out of your life, even if they are your family. Stop browsing 4chan if you are 'weak minded'

Do all this for a couple of months, you will probably feel shitty for a while and then you'll start to feel better.

Now you need to talk to people, talk to the fucking garbage man if you need to. Learn from your mistakes, if people react in a negative way then change little things in your behaviour..

>>7937479
The more people you talk to the better, learn to hold conversations. Talk about random stuff with people.

If you go to clubs you can try all kinds of stuff there. Force yourself to do it, you'll NEVER get good if you don't.

So now after a couple of months, you look better, eat healthier, get more shit done and are somehow better with social interactions.

There are some tips to make you instantly 'better' at social interactions, this are pretty basic (probably your mom and your dad already told you this)but a lot of people don't do it.

>smile
>look people in the eyes
>have good posture
>use your hands when expressing yourself

Now you are out of autismo mode, you are a regular likeable person. Stop being condescending, stop being ironic and sarcastic when talking to people, MOST people dislike it, dont look down on people. Make good friends and keep them around, get bad people out of your life instantly (men and women).
If a girl is giving you a hard time, most of the time is not worth it and you should dump her. This can make some women even more attracted to you and you'll gain 'power' in the relationship (if that's what you want).

You WILL NEVER be liked by everyone, there will be always people who will hate on you or won't like you. Stop caring about them. Same with women, there are women who will think you are a piece of shit and sleep with some fat loser afterwards, and there's nothing you can do about it.Don't give importance to this events, and keep developing yourself.

>BUT BUT ALL THIS GUYS WHO FUCK CUTE GIRLS AINT DOING ALL THAT SHIT ? DEVELOPING ? LMAO I WANT TO FUCK

Yes but you aren't one of those guys, you are some autismo boy. Sure there are men out there who are naturally good with people and will fuck gorgeous women without much effort, but you aren't one of them and probably never will.

One more tip: start dating several women at the same time (if you can), this will make everything much easier and you'll be less needy

>>7937542
I used to be like this, even worse m8, I was afraid to talk to anybody and was basically a hikikomori for a couple of years.
I don't really like to talk about this 'development' stuff because it sounds kind of corny and cliche. Sounds like the shit parents talk about but we never listen, but it works.

I used drugs for years (smoked weed every day, took molly or LSD for parties, benzos to get comfy, tobbacco and alchol everyday) but after you stop you'll feel really bad, at least I did, I got some hardcore depression and eternal boredom of everything. Drugs are an awesome experience but using them all the time is not sustainable. Anyday drugs can stop being available and you'll drift into dark places. This can happen when you are young, you have nothing to lose, and have time, but lets say you use drugs for 20 years and stop in your 40's, you'll be a mess, probably go into depression with more responsibilites and less time. That's why I don't reccomend using them to 'cure' social anxiety.

Start looking people in the eyes, it might be weird first, but then it will become a habit. I mean really dude, how hard it is to just move your eyes and look at the other person ? Its just moving your eyes m8, its REALLY not that hard, think about it.

Another thing to consider is that, a lot of times you'll set a goal, lets say: go to the gym or stop browsing 4chan or whatever, you do it for a couple of weeks or months and then, you slowly stop being commited and you are back where you were before even starting. This is called psychological homeostasis. Basically means you are 'hardwired' to return to that one comfy state you are now in, but you need to fight against that. Everytime you notice you are procastinatig again, stop it and do something else, even if it's chores or work or whatever the fuck.

Where to meet girls ? You can meet them anywhere, the street, online, in clubs. I recomend clubs because you are basically expected to talk to strangers there. If you get blown out it's not a big deal just talk to another girl.