Sometimes to get a chance with the woman a guy wants to be with, he's stuck going the friendship route first because that's the only lane she's really got open (to him). Then he has to prove himself to be worth more than just a friend.
Issue is that approach can be a huge waste of his time if the guy started hanging out with her infatuated from the beginning and she ends up never interested. He never wanted to be only friends with her, his goal was a more intimate relationship from the start. The friendship was just a means to that goal.
There really should be no blame on the woman for this scenario, as it's the man who's accepted the possibility of failure as a potential risk in this pursuit. There was no guarantee that the woman would agree to anything more and the man should never assume so. If the outcome ends with him having wasted his time trying to woo her, that's on him, not her.
However if the man decides to jump ship after being rejected and is not interested in simply being friends after the fact...that's fair and actually a mature response too. He does not need to "grow up and get over it " so he can continue playing friends with her. Pretending/forcing a friendship that he's not really interested in is only wasting his time and misleading the woman, wasting her time. He could also build growing resentment towards her due to being denied what he really wants, which she may or may not be aware of. Not a healthy situation for either of them to be in. Him deciding to remove himself from the situation instead of lying or badgering her was actually the grow-up thing to do.
I have a similar perspective when the genders are reversed and a woman gets rejected by a man. I tell her to compromise or move on. Out of the women I've known whom went through such a situation, virtually none of them felt an obligation to stick around and play friends for the guy's benefit.
Which is why I never pressure a man to do so for a woman.
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