December 17, 2016

so what separates CEO/CFOs from the other high positioned people in the organisation?

Alright, I'll tell you.

I'm old now and soon to pass on.
67 is a bit young but what can you do?

To become CEO, there is a special handshake. But you have to know when and who to give it to. 

First, get a job. Because I know you're a jobless NEET faggot. 

Then find the most important looking guy you can find.

NOW, DONT give it to him yet. First find out his name. Important people like it when you remember their names. Next take em out to dinner. Most expensive place you can afford. Make it steak. If he's vegan, I don't know. 

After you're done, and this is the important part. 

Get into your car, pull down his pants. His penis might come out. Now this is the important bit, the handshake that will allow you to become a CEO. Three words.

Up and down.

Then start suckin

The highest level people in a company are assessed on their decision making capability.

Obviously when you are making big decisions you are effectively dealing with chaos - will severing one unproductive division save your company or stifle innovation and make it worse off in the long run?

Imagine the CEO position as the last chair in a giant game of musical chairs. Whoever has weathered the most storms and made the decisions that went down as successful decisions will be the one that gets their ass on that chair.

I tend to find that people who are Chief Execs are highly informed and experienced, can immediately recall detailed and relevant information instantly and are experts at negotiating with people in a way that makes them seem unflappable.

A lot of people think that CEOs talk a load of vacuous nonsense, but actually it's an art that a lot of people aren't good at especially when put under pressure. Tony Blair was a highly skilled politician because when people asked him underhanded questions that were intended to expose a lack of composure or knowledge of his party he could immediately detect the intention of the question and steer the whole conversation around.

It's the difference between being George Bush and Jeb Bush.

And you might wonder why I'm referencing politicians instead of well known CEOs but that's because their decisions and characters are much more public and therefore much more easy to analyse.

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