Why Can't I Get Tinder Matches?

You seriously look like you still ride a bike to go get cheeseburgers with your only 2 friends after school. 

You look like your mom still drops you off outside the movies then has to go in to buy you're ticket because you're too young to see an R movie.

You look like you need a spotter to bench the bar.

You look like a fucking idiot and girls don't even spend a second before the swipe left on your below average, short, skinny ass profile.