March 7, 2016

Blogger

Oh great it's another millennial who thinks they have to be to a famous rapper or world-changing biotech genius to be successful. "Follow your heart," and, "reach for the stars," just like Drake told you to do, right faggot?

Don't let me ever catch you talking down the local store owner again, kid. That guy with the two Quiznos franchises? He moved to America with nothing in his pockets than a few crumbs of sourdough bread and a hole at the bottom. He worked in the backs of restaurants, washing dishes. He saved pennies he found on the street while attending night classes to speak better English, then he ate a bowl of turnip soup to save on food expenses. And he DIDNT do all that so his faggot kid could post on the internet about how much of a loser his old man is, from the college he's paying for. 

Cause guess what, lightweight? You're never gonna be rich and famous. You're never gonna, "grow fantastic spices with hydroponic technology." You know why? Because you have no respect and it shows. Unfounded haughtiness oozes from your sockless loafers and skin-tight shorts. You look like a gay man from the late 90s. And you think it looks cool. You have confidence, but you've never done anything. The minute you get out of that college your daddy bought you, the real world is gonna eat you up, kid. And when it spits you out, you'll be back begging for a job at Johnny's Corner Store and Liquors. But Johnny's a loser in your eyes. And while you sweep the funk off his floors, he'll walk by you one night and give you a couple words of solace, real softly:

"Keep it up, kid. You might own this place one day."

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